on making again

margin time, the effort of getting started, and the joy of creating

Not to be dramatic but getting back into a crafting rhythm is changing my life.

It started with my son’s third birthday. We’d gone back and forth on if we even wanted to have a party and ultimately the desire to host and spend time with friends and family won out but we vowed to keep the food simple (not our strong point). We decided on an ice cream party and it was off to the pinterest boards. I stockpiled so much cardboard from friends and neighbors and had a blast creating decorations including ice cream cozy coupe cars and an ice cream shop front.

I spent a lot of free hours working on decorations and in the process remembered how much I really love tapping into the creative side of my brain. I would have said I’m not a pinterest mom but really I just can’t stomach the thought of spending a lot on things that will only be used once. But making it myself and giving recycling a second life? I’m here for it. I did buy some new things for decorations but tried to keep it minimal! I’m happy with how it turned out and we had so much fun celebrating our big 3 year old.

pre-scooped ice cream? game changer

I’ve been into sewing off and on but really hadn’t done much since the start of the pandemic. I went back through some of my old photos to see past makes and it hit me that I really stopped sewing after making a TON of masks for neighbors and friends at the very beginning of lockdown. I got pretty burned out and that was the beginning of my anxiety really hitting a high point and sewing just got moved to the backburner indefinitely.

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We moved into our house nearly a year ago and a few weekends ago I asked my husband to find my sewing machine in the attic and bring it down. It was still wrapped in blankets and taped up in the box it had moved halfway across the country in but the muscle memory came back so quickly. I’ve had it in mind to make clothing again (specifically, these pomona pants) but the thought of taping a pattern together felt too intimidating. I’m not sure what flipped the switch for me but after seeing so many versions of the Skyline Dress, I knew I could do it if I could just get started. I ordered and printed the pattern immediately and started the process of taping it together. You know when there’s a task that feels impossible and you put it off for ages and then once you actually do it, it takes 5 minutes? That’s about how this was (plus an hour or so). I took a brief hiatus doing birthday prep and once the party was over, I made quick work of finishing taping the pattern and cutting my pieces out.

I was going pretty steadily along until it was two days before a special get together for my friend and I panicked. I spiraled after realizing my planned outfit was going to be too warm for an outside event and anything else I would have reached for was still a bit too snug. My children had gone to bed easily and decently early compared to their usual and I was feeling energized enough to take all of my sewing things out and schlep them to the kitchen table. Impulsively I decided to see if I could finish it that night in time to wear the next evening.

As I worked on my skyline dress into the night, I just felt this overwhelming sense of pride in myself. In this season of two small children and adjusting to the constancy of being ON, I’ve had a really hard time getting started with other tasks. When presented with an hour to myself I have often wasted it scrolling because I couldn’t decide what I wanted or what would be restful and then before I knew it, my hour was up. Nap was over and it was go go go for the next few hours. Even after bedtime it’s hard to do much with any time I have as I’m usually pretty zonked and ready for bed.

Sewing again has felt like such a gift to myself to tap into my precious margin time to do something both creative and fulfilling instead of fritter my time away mindlessly scrolling. I don’t have a designated space and so anytime I want to work on sewing it means not only getting everything out but being willing to put it all away too. I struggle with task completion so this is a pretty significant roadblock for me.

Over and over I just kept thinking about how much joy it was bringing me to MAKE something from start to finish and that I couldn’t believe I’d actually gotten started. The act of sewing this garment was so much more than just the finished product: it was being willing to start and get interrupted and work in chunks only to put it all away again. So many little pockets of choosing myself and remembering what I like to do.

Oh and the dress? I LOVE IT SO MUCH.